the left handed guy

I think I wrote about him some years ago.

When blogging wasn't available yet.

He was the guy I liked sooo much at fourteen.He played basketball, he was great at math and he listens to Spandau Ballet.

He had a girlfriend and he thought I liked someone else.

At that time, I felt we were destined. Because fate had a thing for us. Even on the most mundane opportunities, we would see each other, or be given a chance to communicate.

It was the first time I felt kilig. Each conversation, I was so interested. First time I enjoyed talking to a person who isn't a girlfriend.

It went on for years, phone conversations turned into text messaging (nung nauso na siya). Half my mornings spent sending that "good morning text/quote/graphics" even with the network traffic.

I remember the feeling of secretly comparing him to a boyfriend I had, which made me end that relationship because I knew my heart belongs to someone else.

I liked him that much.

And I wouldn't forget the last long conversation we had when I was on vacation in the U.S.
We had a lot of things in common and so much more, but it was also the time I knew he never liked me. Not in the romantic way I hoped he would. Because if he did, he'd make a way.

The last time I saw him was on his wedding day. I invited myself (with my supportive girlfriends and no, we didn't go inside the church) outside the church and right on time as the priest introduced him and his wife as a newly wedded couple.

I wanted to do that as closure on my part. So at least I know I said goodbye.

And as I write this, I have NO regrets.

Because, if not for him or the experience, I wouldn't learn love, basketball and heartaches.

I wish I could say he was the one that got away, but he isn't. How could you lose someone you never had? Officially.

So thank you left handed guy. You may never know this, and I may forget the kilig i felt with you, but I will always remember that one time in my life with a smile on my face.


i know this, much is true.